


It's Him

by Hvalross



Category: Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic
Genre: Canon X OC - Freeform, Drama, Explicit Sex, F/M, Fluff, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-03-20 11:03:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13716330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hvalross/pseuds/Hvalross
Summary: It's been more than two years since Kenmei thought Judar had died, and after struggling, she finally had her life put back together. But how will everything change when he suddenly returns? Judar x Kenmei (OC).





	1. Him

“Junjie, baby, please sit down, you make Mommy nervous when you do that.”

Kenmei held her arms out, inviting the young child to come sit on her lap, instead of walking around in circles in the space in front of her. They were gliding together on a carpet high in the sky, having just left the Kou Empires Capital Marketplace, where Kenmei usually bought her clothing and daily items for her and her child. It was errand day for them, and instead of leaving the child with a caretaker like she normally did, she decided to bring him along.

Usually, she left Junjie in the care of a dear friend, but the child had begged to go with her, and those big, red pleading eyes always got her to cave in. Even now, as he looked back at her from near the front of the carpet, holding onto the big red ball he had gotten from the marketplace, his eyes turned her into complete mush. Just like his had before.

Junjie turned to face her, holding the ball up above his head with a wide grin on his face. “I wont lose the ball, mommy!” Kenmei gave a smile, shaking her head. “I know you wont, I just dont want you to fall off. Now come here.” She waved her hands towards herself and the child obeyed, waddling himself over to her and plopping himself onto her lap, hugging the ball tightly to himself the best he could. Kenmei laughed to herself quietly as she watched him, finding it adorable the way he tried to fit his arms around the ball that was obviously way too big to do so with.

“You like that ball, don't you baby?” Kenmei stroked the child's black hair gently, causing him to lean his head back to look up at her, giving another wide smile. “I love it, mommy! It's the same color as my eyes!” He tilted his head back down, banging a bit on the ball with his small hand.

Kenmei gave a small nod, eyes focused on his hand as it moved. “That's right...” Looking at him, she was only reminded about how incredibly frail the child was. He was so small for being two and a half years, thin and was so easy to get ill. And now, as she watched him hug onto his new prized possession, she prayed he would not fall ill like the last time she took him out to the marketplace. Being born so prematurely had really taken a toll on the child's health, and this caused Kenmei to be constantly worried about him.

Still, today the child had gotten her to take his side, and Kenmei was glad she had done it. Junjie had seemed quite sad the past few days, and had been begging her to take him out of the palace. He had enjoyed himself so much, smiling, laughing and even playing with some other children he had met there while Kenmei did her shopping. Even now, she could still feel his joy as he twisted the ball around on his lap, his wide smile still plastered on his face. She loved that cute, goofy grin that reminded her so much of him.

In fact, almost everything about the child reminded her of him every time she looked at him. His wild, black, uncontrollable hair. His thin, frail frame. His uncanny adaption to magic. But most of all, those red eyes. And yet, with all his physical similarities, the child was nothing like him at all. Junjie was kind and gentle, with a sensitive soul that only begged for knowledge. If his childhood at been different, Kenmei liked to imaging that he would have been similar as a child.

Kenmei was pulled out of her thoughts by a loud yawn coming from the child, guessing that all his excitement was finally starting to bring him down. She stroked his hair again gently, smiling as she watched him lean his head on the ball as if it were a pillow. “Nap time, huh? We'll be home soon..” She took the moment to turn her head a bit to look behind her, wanting to make sure that all of her possessions she purchased that day were still on the back of the carpet.

But, with her mind elsewhere while glancing over the items, she did not notice the increase in the wind speed. Within a moment, the wind pushed the carpet off balance, causing it to shift and wave erratically. Thankfully, the carpet was big enough that none of the items fell off, and Kenmei was able to keep her balance and place. Junjie, however, slipped forward out of her lap, only to be caught by her seconds later.

However, the ball that Junjie had been clutching to so dearly bounced and disappeared over the edge of the carpet. In a moment of panic, Junjie gave a yell and wiggled himself from his mother against her protest. He crawled over to the edge and looked over, eyes already swelling up with tears. “Mommy!! My ball, it-” He stopped suddenly, causing Kenmei to grow confused and concerned. She moved herself over to the edge, grabbing him and forcing him back onto her lap away from the edge. “Junjie, you cant go to the edge like that! We will get you ano-” “But mommy, I didn't see it falling.”

Kenmei frowned, a bit confused. They were currently hovering high over the plains and there wasn't a single cloud in the sky, and such a bright color should have been easily seen falling to the ground. She shook her head, rubbing his back gently. “No baby, it fell. We will get you another one, I promise.” She tried to give a comforting smile, but only noticed that Junjie was staring off into the sky, completely focused on something that they had not noticed.

She watched as his eyes moved down, giving a small gasp as the child pulled himself once again from her arms to stand up on her lap, looking behind her over her shoulder. Kenmei frowned, holding onto him to help him keep his balance. “Junjie, please, what are you doing?”

“My ball!” Junjie thrust out his arms, almost causing him to topple over Kenmei's shoulder. Kenmei was about to speak again when she heard the familiar sound of the ball in Junjie's hands, and she picked him up to pull him back over and into her lap. She stared down at the red ball in his hands in confusion and disbelief. “How did that-”

Junjie only grinned wide, but it was not at her, but once again over her shoulder. “Thank you, mister!!” Kenmei felt her heart clench. Mister? Who could it possibly be? Another magician going to the marketplace? A traveler? A thief? She clutched Junjie tighter to her, feeling her heart racing, too frightened to even reach for her wand to defend herself.

“Who-” “Mommy, what are those black things? Rukh? They're not white?”

Kenmei looked down at her child, seeing him still gazing curiously up behind her. She had taught him much about magic already, as even so young, he was able to see the Rukh already and had even had progress with his borg, though it was still extremely fragile. Still, she could not understand why he was saying he was seeing black Rukh. That only sent more fear through her, though as she herself looked up to watch the Rukh beginning to flutter around them, she felt as if they were.. familiar.

“Wow, he's just as clumsy as you are after all? Did he seriously get nothing at all from me?”

Kenmei instantly brought a hand up to cover her mouth, feeling her stomach instantly tighten and twist into a thousand knots at the voice that just came from behind her. It wasn't possible. He was dead. She saw him pushed into the sky. She attended his funeral. They visited his temple weekly to pray. And yet, here she was, hearing his voice for the first time in two years. It wasn't possible.

Kenmei was broken out of her haze when Junjie nudged her gently. “Mommy, who is that man?” “I...” For the first time with the child, she was completely speechless. She didn't know what to tell him or how to react. She had to confirm what she had heard wasn't a dream, that she hadn't fallen asleep on the ride home. And so, she slowly began to turn herself around, though kept her eyes downcast and locked on the carpet.

She gave a loud gasp as her eyes landed on bare feet and black, puffy pants, both hands coming up to cover her mouth. She began to breath heavily, vision blurring as her eyes started to well with tears. By the time her eyes met the head of the blurry figure, only able to make out his vague form and the movement of a long braid swaying behind him in the wind.

“Hey there.. Stupid girl.”

“Y-y-you... y-you're not...-” Kenmei's breathing only intensified as she stared up at him, feeling her body beginning to grow numb and her head swim, becoming lost in the wave upon wave of her mixed feelings, emotions and thoughts. This isn't possible... you're dead.

“Y-you're dead!!” Her voice finally croaked out, her whole body shaking as she started to feel herself growing weak. Junjie frowned from her lap, looking back up at the figure in front of them. “He's not a ghost, mommy.”

“Tch!” The figure spoke, crossing his arms. “Did you forget my name or something, you stupid girl.” After he spoke, he squatted down to be eye level with them, and Kenmei could see clearly the red eyes that instantly sent her whole body into shock. He reached a hand out towards her, though she still could not move.

“It's me. It's Judar.”

And in an instant, her sight and mind swirled into blackness and she could feel herself falling, pulled into unconsciousness where she was sure she would never awaken.


	2. Her

Judar stopped mid air, thrusting his arms and legs outwards in a large and lengthily stretch. “Damn this feels good!” He allowed his body to relax, hovering for a moment before he released his gravity magic, beginning to fall to the Earth below. He had spent so long confined in that dark land, with no power, no freedom, and stuck with only that stupid clay doll and weird dragon.

He frowned, becoming disgusted at the thought of what he had gone through. Him, Judar, the mighty Magi, forced to be in the same company as those two, powerless and in a constant state of annoyance. He had hated it, every second. He wanted nothing more than to be back in this world, where he could fly freely and again do whatever he wanted, and be around people that he actually liked. Like Hakuryuu, and...

Judar stopped himself from falling, adjusting himself to float upright. He scratched the back of his head with his free hand, tapping his staff against his leg as he began to grow lost in thought. That was interesting... he hadn't thought of her in a while. He had been so focused on wanting to just get out of that dark, dreadful place the past few weeks, that he didn't really think about anything else.  
And now he found himself wondering... How was she doing anyway? That stupid girl who was never anything but a pest to him. And yet, he found himself missing her. How could that even be possible? He didn't miss or care about anybody that much, and his only focus now was to find Hakuryuu again so they could go back to taking over the world.

He huffed, pushing himself forwards to continue flying towards the Capital. “It's not like it even matters, anyway...” She was probably completely over him by now. It had been two years, after all, and there was no way that she could have possibly known he was still alive all this time. In his mind, he imagined her in many different ways. Married with tons of children, alone with no one but the child she had been carrying when he 'died'. He wouldn't even put it past her to off herself when it all happened.

That last thought made his stomach clench. What the hell? Was he actually nervous about her being gone? He didn't care that much about her, anyway, what difference would it make to his life? He didn't need her, he didn't want her, he could easily live just fine without her. And yet, the more he tried to convince himself, the more upset and angry he became. He couldn't believe that he was actually missing that stupid, weak, poor excuse of a Magician.

Judar stopped flying once again, reaching up to rub his face. Though he was trying to convince himself otherwise, he knew none of this was true. He had grown to care for her over the years they had been together, and he knew the more he continued to deny that, the more he would just piss himself off. He missed her, and he wanted to see her, but how could he?

How could he just appear out of no where and expect everything to be the same as it had been? What if she was with someone else? What if she hated him? Would he really be okay with that now, after everything that had happened between them? He didn't know how well he would be able to cope without it, that sense of belonging that he felt when he was with her. Or even worse, her rukh, the thing that connected them in the first place. That feeling of relaxation and comfort, that calmed and caressed him on even his worst of days.

Judar grew increasingly frustrated, giving out a loud yell and kicking his feet as if he were a child having a tantrum. “God damn it!!” He began to fall again, needing something to distract him from the knots building up in his stomach. He hated himself, he couldn't believe that he was actually nervous about something as stupid as this.

Suddenly, a noise hit Judar's ears that made him stop his falling once again. What was that? Giggling? This high up in the air, and for it to sound like a child? That was totally bizarre. He glanced around a bit, noticing a carpet flying a little ways below him. He crossed his arms as he gave a huff, still floating upside down as he watched the carpet fly away, also going towards the capital. But as he watched it move, he grew curious as to who it was flying it.

He turned himself upright once again and began to follow after the carpet and the mystery riders, but there was something more than just being curious about them. He was feeling draw to whoever it may have been. Was that the right feeling? Drawn to them? It was like he needed to know, needed to see another person in this world. And perhaps... maybe it was her?

Judar gave another grumble to himself, shaking his head. Stop thinking like that, for fucks sake! Why did he keep doing that? This stupid brain of his, bringing up stupid things that were nothing but stupid and he hated all of it. Stupid, stupid, stupid!! Get this shit out of your head.... It isn't her.

His thoughts were cut short as he could hear the voice again, able to confirm that it was a child on the carpet. A child and... a woman? Judar frowned, squinting his eyes a bit as he tried to see them better, picking up his speed to close the distance between them. He listened closely to their conversation, his curiosity getting the better of him.

“Junjie, baby, please sit down, you make Mommy nervous when you do that.”

Before the first word was even finished, Judar slammed himself into a halt, feeling his heart race and his stomach clench into tight and sickening knots. There was no way this was actually happening. It wasn't possible that it seriously was her. All this time thinking about it, being angry and frustrated, and he hadn't though of what he actually would do if he came upon her that day.

“What should I do...” He spoke his thoughts aloud, feeling himself becoming a bit frantic as he watched the carpet continue to fly away from him. Should he stop her? Ignore her? What would he do if everything were still normal? What would he have done years ago when they were at their closest?

A sly grin crossed his face as he grew a bit excited, taking off back towards the carpet, though he moved himself to fly below it, trying to be as sneaky as he possibly could. A prank! That would get her, just like it always had! He would just make a huge gust of wind and throw her off the carpet, then catch her in mid air and it would be the coolest shit, she would have to forgive him then!

But, just as he was about to go through with his master plan, he paused, hearing the childs voice up on the carpet as well. He gave a bit of a pout, knowing he could never do something like that with the kid on the carpet. If Judar put the child in danger for any reason, he knew she would never let him live it down and would probably really hate him, then.

Before he could come up with a child safe prank, there was a natural huge gust of wind that even threw him off balance, causing him to stop for a second. As he reached up to move his bangs out of his face so he could see, he heard a cry from the child above and was smacked in the head by an object. Out of reflex, he snatched the object from the air, surprised to see that it was a large, red ball. “A ball?” He looked back up at the carpet, seeing that it had stopped.

He clinched the ball tightly in his hands, his stomach beginning to turn and twist into knots again. He slowly and silently began to rise himself upwards, rising himself over the back of the carpet. He stopped suddenly, his red eyes immediately locking with ones that resembled his own, peeking at him over the shoulder of the woman on the carpet. 

Fuck. That was the only thing that came to his mind as he and the child stared back at each other. After a moment, Judar broke his gaze, looking down at the ball before he landed carefully and silently on the carpet, using the space that was behind the woman. He swallowed the huge lump in his throat, before he extended his arm out, offering the ball back to the child.

The child suddenly sat up and shoved himself over his mothers shoulder, gazing at the ball with complete bewilderment. Judar gave a bit of a jump at the sudden movement, before instantly wanting to punch himself in the face for actually being frightened by the childs movements. He nudged the toy in the childs direction, though he looked to the woman as he heard her speak once again, her voice making his chest tighten.

“Junjie, please, what are you doing?”

“My ball!” The child cried out, before he gently took it from Judars grip, looking back up at him with a curious and confused gaze. Judar brought his hand back to himself, reaching up to scratch the back of his head as he began to grow extremely nervous. How could he possibly be feeling this way? He never cared about any of this stuff, why was he so scared?

He opened his mouth to speak, but stopped as the woman pulled the child back to her. He could feel from her rukh and see from her body language that she was extremely confused and uncomfortable. He frowned, thinking that maybe he should just leave them be. He started to feel wrong about greeting them at this time.

He was just going to end up leaving them again, anyway.

Judar began to take a step back, deciding that he was just going to leave it at this. He couldn't go through with this, not now and not so suddenly. But, before he could take off again, his eyes locked with the childs once again. The child grinned up happily at him, showing no fear as he hugged onto his ball tightly. “Thank you, mister!”

Mister? Really, kid? Didn't she ever teach you to be scared of strangers? Judar couldn't help but to give a small grin back. The more he looked at them, the more he wanted to fly away and pretend he had never seen them. But even more, he wanted to stay. He wanted to talk to them, to find out what had happened. He brought his foot back forward, taking a step back towards them as he saw the woman before him clinch, gripping and hugging the child tightly.

He frowned, able to tell that she was terrified. This frustrated him greatly. Could she really not tell that this was him? Could she not feel his presence or see his rukh? It didn't really surprise him, though, she had always been like this, allowing her immediate feelings cloud her judgment and rational thought. That's how she ended up with him in the first place, because she was too stupid to see what he was truly like. But that's something that he liked about her the most. That she was so blissfully ignorant, and would do literally anything to just be with him in the past.

As Judar started to grow irritated, he knew his rukh were becoming more noticeable. He could see this in the eyes of the child, as he watched them flutter around, eyes becoming curious and confused. Judar glanced at the woman as she tried to speak, but the child immediately cut her off.

“Who-” “Mommy, what are those black things? Rukh? They're not white?”

Judar's lips twisted into a bit of a smirk, as if he were feeling... proud? She's already taught you that much? Geez... What a nerd. He took another step closer, watching the woman as her head moved about, watching the Rukh flutter around them. Judar took in a deep breath, deciding to stop fucking around and get to the point.

“Wow, he's just as clumsy as you are after all? Did he seriously get nothing at all from me?”

He felt his heart skip a beat as he watched the woman tense and began to tremble. Now he had done it, he totally fucked everything up. What type of stupid shit was that to say? She thought he was dead, how would picking on her like that even work to keep her calm about it all?

I'm so fucking stupid... I need to be a little nicer next time. I dont want her to die from a fucking heart attack. The child spoke again, looking up at the face of his mother instead of at Judar. “Mommy, who is that man?”

His heart began to race as he watched her slowly starting to turn around, it picked up speed with every second and every inch she crept closer to facing him. The more she turned, the more he just wanted to disappear. What if he ruined everything for them by showing back up? What if she yelled and screamed at him? What if she hated him?

But, his fear began to pass when he saw her eyes land on his feet and she gasped, covering her mouth in shock. He could feel it in her Rukh, that there was no hate, no bitterness, only sadness and... relief? He tried to focus on one feeling radiating from her Rukh, but there was so much, he couldn't listen to them properly. He could only stare down at her as she stared back up at him, her pale green eyes finally locking with his.

He could see her clearly, now, and could tell how much she had grown over the two years he had been gone. He could feel from her Rukh that she was wiser, more mature, that the struggles and emotions she had gone through had changed her. But physically, as he stared down at her, he could feel his face beginning to turn warm and his stomach bubble. Had she always been that... cute?

Judar swallowed the lump in his throat, giving a small grin as he forced words out, hoping they wouldn't give away his nervousness. “Hey there... stupid girl.” He could see her instantly grow more frantic, her body shaking and tears flowing down her face.

“Y-y-you... y-you're not...-” Judar only stared down at her as she struggled to speak, giving her time to get the words out. He knew this was a lot for her, he could see it on her face, how she was struggling to even stay conscious. “You're dead!!”

Judar frowned, feeling a sting in his chest from those words. Did she really not believe that he was here? Well, how could she, really? There was no reason or clue in the world for her to believe that he had been alive all this time. But now, as he stood there watching her struggle with the fact that he was standing in front of her, he wished that there had been a way for him to tell her, to tell anyone he cared about, that he was still alive.

“He's not a ghost, mommy.” The child spoke, giving a frown up at her. Judar couldn't help but to give a small chuckle, finding it funny how such a young child could take to him so easily while the woman he knew loved him couldn't even speak to him. He sighed, unable to watch her continue to struggle.

“Tch!” Judar huffed, crossing his arms. “Did you forget my name or something, you stupid girl.” He took in a deep breath before he squatted down to be eye level with her, hoping that would help her calm down a bit. He slowly and carefully reached a hand out to her, hoping she would take it and accept him back. “It's me. It's Judar.”

But, instead of watching her reach out and take his hand, he watched as she grew limp, completely passing out and falling over to the side. In a panic, fearful that she would fall with the child, he fell to sit on his knees, dropping his staff onto the carpet before he snatched onto her before she could fall all the way.

He sighed, gently pulling her and the confused child closer to him as he took control of the carpet, guessing it was now up to him to get them home. The child looked up at him, eyes worried and beginning to tear up. “What happened!” Judar gently placed his hand on the childs head, giving it a few pats. “Don't worry.. Junjie.” He felt weird saying it, that name she had given the child. He felt as if he didn't have the right to call him by name.

“She just fell asleep... I'll get you home, alright?” He gave the most comforting grin he could muster, which seemed to calm Junjie enough to stop him from crying. Judar looked down at the woman, wishing she would just wake up as he began to fly them back towards the Capital.

“God damn it, Kenmei...” He muttered under his breath. “You just had to go and faint...” He adjusted her to be resting in his lap, the feeling of her body against his and her head on his chest feeling him with nostalgia. That didn't turn out exactly like he would have liked it to, but he felt content.

He was happy to have her in his arms again.


	3. Together

Kenmei woke with a start, sitting up quickly as she took in a large breath. _W-what happened?_ She could feel nothing but a numbness in her body, expanding itself through all of her limbs, and she could see nothing but dark, moving shadows. She could hear nothing but a loud ringing in her hears and a horrible pounding deep inside her skull, which made her stomach twist and turn into a feeling of nausea.

Though they felt as if they weighed a thousand pounds, she reached her hands up to her face, placing them both over her eyes and pressing into them, rubbing in light motions as she tried to gain her bearings. Where was she? What had happened to her? Her mind was in such a thick fog, she couldn't remember anything.

She took in deep breaths, catching onto the first clue of her surroundings. A smell, very distinguishable and easy to catch, even in her delirious state. Grass? Was she sitting in grass? One of her hands fell back to her side, timidly touching the soft blades of grass around her. She opened her eyes, only to squint at the light, casting her eyes down to look at the bright green all around her.

 _I'm... on the ground? But I was just in the sky... wasn't I?_ She slowly adjusted her body until she was sitting on her knees, rubbing her forehead as she continued to suffer from the painful throbbing. She continued to stare at the ground, and as the fog in her mind started to clear, she started remembering.

 _I was in the sky.. We had gone shopping.. We.. Wait, Junjie?!_ In a sudden rush and panic, her mind snapped back into focus and she whipped her head around, searching for her missing child. “J-Junjie where-” She gasped, as her eyes landed on a figure, though it was not the child she had been seeking.

A few feet away from where she had been placed, Judar was also laying in the grass, his arms resting behind his head. Kenmei could only stare, feeling the numbness return to her body as she watched him. She watched as his chest moved up and down in steady rhythm, as the gentle breeze that surrounded them misplaced his messy flop of hair. She couldn't believe that she was actually looking at him right now, that she was actually in his presence.

And as she stared at him, she noticed that he hadn't changed in the slightest, at least not in a physical way. In fact, he looked as if he had never been gone at all. The way he lied there, so comfortable and relaxed, she could easily start to believe that these past two years had been nothing but a bad nightmare that she had finally woken from.

But along with these strange feelings of relief that were flooding through her body, she felt unsure of herself and the situation. How could he really be back? How could he really just appear back like that, like he had never even been gone in the first place? She felt as if someone must have been playing a cruel trick on her, as if destiny was just putting her through more grief for its own entertainment.

She could feel more tears starting to flow down her face as she watched him sleep, and through her mind was filled with so many emotions, she wanted nothing more than for this to be real, for him to be truly back. This need, this wanting feeling tugging at the back of her head, pushed her to timidly start to scoot her body closer to his.

As she moved closer, she was able to see the small body of Junjie on the other side of Judar, his small frame resting against Judar's while still holding onto his large red ball. She could see by his shallow breaths and calm expression on his face, that he was deep in sleep. Carefully, she reached across Judar and gently scooped up Junjie, wanting to move him. With Junjie in her arms, she stood and walked over to the belongings that she had purchased, happy to see that Judar had landed the carpet carefully and didn't lose anything.

She placed the child down gently on the carpet, grabbing a piece of clothing that she had purchased from one of the bags, before gently laying it across Junjie to cover him, not wanting him to get cold. As she stood back to straight, she took a moment to take in her surroundings. They were in a small area right outside the capital, that was surrounded by a small patch of trees and brush. It was dusk, and the sky was painted with brilliant orange, pink and lilac colors as the sun was nearing the edge of the earth.

Kenmei gave a quick rub to her arms, feeling a sharp sting of cold herself, before she turned back to Judar. He was still fast asleep, having not noticed her take the child or that she had woken up herself. Quietly, she walked back over and sat down next to him again. Giving a sniff, she reached up and wiped the tears off of her face, knowing he would probably pick on her if he woke up and saw her crying.

“J..Judar?” She spoke timidly, finding it nearly impossible to even say his name. She gave a small frown as he only shifted his head towards her a bit, though he was still obviously deep in sleep. Kenmei could feel her whole body beginning to tremble, becoming afraid of waking him up.

Swallowing the lump in her throat, she timidly reached out a trembling hand and placed it gently on his cheek. “Juda-” She gave a small gasp as he grumbled, rolling over towards her before he lightly pushed her hand away.

“Dont touch me.. stupid.. clay doll..” he grumbled, hiding his face in his arms once he was on his side. Kenmei blinked, staring down at him in confusion. “What..? Clay doll?” She reached down once again, gently tapping the top of his head. “Judar, wake-” This time, Judar snatched onto her wrist, propping himself up on his free arm as he woke, though he kept his head down, as if he were starting at something on the ground.

“I said don't touch me you-” He suddenly stopped, noticing that he was not glaring at a clay doll, but instead Kenmei's lap. He quickly looked up and released his grip on her wrist, not knowing how tightly he had been holding onto it. He frowned as he saw the shocked look on Kenmei's face, noticing her pull her wrist to her and rub it gently.

“J-Judar... It's alright, it's just me..” Kenmei spoke through shaking words, hanging her head down a bit as she tried to avoid eye contact. Judar gave a small sigh, slowly pushing himself up to sit up properly, crossing his legs as he faced her. “Sorry... I thought you were.. someone else.” He put a hand up to his face, rubbing it as if he were trying to force the sleep away from him.

Kenmei only gave a small nod, though found it almost impossible to make herself speak. Her stomach was bubbling and churning, and she was terrified that she might actually vomit if she opened her mouth. She was still rubbing her wrist gently, and though he had gripped it tightly and it was pulsing with a slight pain, she was not upset about it. In fact, she was happy. This pain that she was feeling, that moment when she had felt his skin touch hers, it all meant that this was real.

Judar raised an eyebrow as he stared down at her, noticing that she was going off into one of her trances, guessing that she had started day dreaming again, as always. But still, he couldn't find it in himself to move or speak, either. This was way harder and way more awkward than he ever imagined.

Still, he forced it out of himself, shifting in his spot a bit. “U-uhm.. I didn't hurt you, did I?” He reached his hand out to take her hand to check it, but was surprised when she reached her own hand out to allow him to see it. “N-no, it's okay.. It wasn't that bad, really. It just more surprised me than anything.” Kenmei timidly spoke, feeling her face flush hot as he took her hand. She began to tremble again slightly as she stared at their hands, feeling her excitement and happiness beginning to bubble out of control.

She moved her hand to grip his gently, finally lifting her head to look up at him. “Y-you're really here? Right? You're really back?” she spoke though shaking words, feeling her eyes beginning to well up with tears again as she looked at him. Judar could feel his face beginning to burn hot with embarrassment, the way she was looking at him driving him crazy. He was having a hard enough time as it was, doing his best to hold himself back from just grabbing and holding onto her. And now, with her looking at him with that pleading expression, he had to say or do something to keep himself cool. He couldn't let her see how much he truly had missed her.

“Pssh.” He waved his free hand in the air a bit, turning his nose up as he tried to act cool. “Of course I'm here! I’d never let some twerp actually kill me!” He flashed a grin down at her, placing his hand on top of hers that he was already holding. “I'm a Magi, remember? I'm too awesome to just die like that.”

Kenmei stared up a him for a moment before she began to giggle, using her free hand to cover her mouth. Judar huffed, scrunching up his face a bit in a pout at her laughing at him. “Hey! Why are you laughing at me?!” Kenmei only continued to laugh, shaking her head as she tried to calm herself down to be able to speak.

“Judar... You haven't changed at all, have you?” She smiled back up at him, unable to hold back a few tears escaping the corners of her eyes. “I'm so glad...” Judar felt his face instantly catch on fire, feeling his heart beginning to race. How was he supposed to react to this? How could he possibly continue to keep cool? This stupid, happy look on her face, and she was crying on top of that?

Judar huffed, reaching up to wipe the tears away from her cheeks gently with both hands, before he gave her cheeks a light pinch, causing her to only giggle more. “Don't make fun of me! I have too changed!” He released her cheeks and crossed his arms, turning his head away from her in defiance. “You wouldn't believe the hell I went through!”

Kenmei scooted a bit closer to him, the motion pushing him to look down at her and notice the curious look on her face. Judar gave her a bit of an annoyed look, knowing she wanted to hear everything right then and there. “You want to know right now?” The woman in front of him nodded, leaning in a bit closer. “Please tell me. Where have you been? What happened to you? How come you couldn't conta-”

She gave a gasp as she was stopped, Judar putting a hand over her mouth to shush her. “Shut up!! You stupid girl, all those questions are just going to get me confused!” Kenmei grabbed his arm and pulled his hand away from her face, giving him a look. “Don't do that to me, Judar! I just want to know! I haven't exactly had a wonderful two years, either!”

Judar crossed his arms again, as if he were throwing a tantrum like a child. “This isn't a competition!” Kenmei huffed, a bit of a pout on her face. “I'm not trying to make it a competition, I just-” She sighed, taking a moment to calm down, knowing he wouldn't calm down either if she didn't. She placed a hand on his arm gently. “I just want to know what happened to you. Will you tell me? Please?”

The Magi once again felt his face flush hot at her touch and soft voice, feeling himself calm just as she did. She had always been able to do that to him, calm him down instantly with nothing but a touch and gentle words. He uncrossed his arms, waving a finger at her as if he were scolding her. “Fine! I'll tell you, but then I want to know about you. Both of you.”

Kenmei followed his finger as he pointed at the sleeping child a few feet away from them. Junjie was still sleeping soundly, cuddled up tightly to his ball under the clothing she had put on him earlier. He was breathing in a steady rhythm and was obviously not disturbed by the two talking at all. Kenmei turned her head back up to look at Judar, giving a nod.

“Of course... I'll tell you everything.” She took his hand gently, giving him a playful glare as she knew he didn't want to see her get sappy. “But like I said, you have to go first! So tell me.. What happened after that little kid kicked your ass?”


	4. Kiss Me

The two talked until the moon was high into the sky, joined by millions of twinkling stars that became their only source of light. The night had grown chilly, and they had moved to lay together in the grass, Kenmei cuddling her body tightly against his as she rested beside him. The feeling of his warmth against her and his arm around her filled her with a calm that she hadn't felt in years.

But, as their conversation came to a close, Kenmei peeled herself away from him and sat up, looking down at him. She placed her hand on his chest, fiddling with the white cloth he wore around his shoulders a bit. “Thank you for telling me everything... And for listening, too.”

Judar sat up a bit, propping himself up on his elbows. “Well, yeah. Why wouldn't I talk to you about it? Or listen to you?” Kenmei felt her face flush hot as Judar brought a hand up to caress her neck gently. His touch sent tingles down her spine and made her stomach twist into tight knots, and she could feel her heart begin to race when she noticed his eyes glancing over her body.

Kenmei shook her head a bit, pulling herself from her daze as she answered his question. “I know that you would have either way... Im just happy that you did, I guess.” She smiled at him as he moved to sit up all the way, watching him stretch. “It is getting pretty late... Maybe we should head inside?”

Judar gave a sigh as he relaxed himself, leaning back on his arms as he looked up at the sky. “That's probably a good idea. It's cold, anyway. He get sick easily, doesn't he?” Kenmei looked over at Junjie, whom she had put more clothing over to keep him as warm as she could, and he seemed content as he continue to sleep. She nodded, standing and starting to make her way over to the sleeping child. “He does.. But he has gotten a little better as he gets older.”

She bent down and scooped up the child gently, standing on the carpet along with her belongings. Once she was settled and ready to go, she glanced back at Judar, noticing that he had stood, but hadn't followed her. She frowned, holding Junjie closer to her. “Judar?” The Magi looked at her when she called his name, having been looking at the palace.

“Are you.. going to come with us?” The nervousness in her voice was apparent, scared that he wasn't going to come with them. Judar gave a small frown at the sound of her voice, not sure what he should do. He never had any intention of staying in the palace, or meeting up with anyone. This whole time that he had spent with her had been a fluke, but how could he possibly tell her that?

He sighed, placing one hand on his hip while he scratched the back of his head with the other, looking at the ground. “Kenmei... This is really complicated for-” “Please.” Judar looked up at her as she cut him off, a bit surprised, but he also hadn't heard her well. “What?”

Kenmei shifted on her feet a bit, trying to hold back her emotions. “Even if you leave tomorrow.. a few days from now, or a week.. a month. I just need you to stay with me tonight. Can't you do that?” Judar stared at her for a moment before he started to walk over, though his serious posture and silence made Kenmei grow even more nervous and she could not hold back her emotions anymore.

“J-Judar, please don't do that thing where you're all quiet and you just look at me like that, I need an answer from you.” Her voice shook as she spoke, tears starting to well up in her eyes as she did her best to control them. Judar stopped in front of her, reaching up to grip her shoulders, his touch firm but gentle enough to not hurt her.

“Mei... I'm not ready for people to know that I'm back...” His voice was quiet, obviously trying to not wake the sleeping child, but also to try to keep Kenmei calm. The woman before him shook her head, still fighting back the tears. “No one will see you... Please, Judar.” She moved a bit closer to him, no longer caring if he found her begging to be unsightly. All she wanted was him, and though she could tell he was nervous about being seen, she knew that he must have wanted to stay, too.

Kenmei felt her heart start to race as Judar gave a sigh, his body and features relaxing as he let his hands slide down her arms a bit. He looked around the area before he used gentle force to move her back further onto the carpet, following her until he had a spot on it as well. As he began to use his powers to lift the carpet into the air, Kenmei couldn't help a huge smile crossing over her features.

“You... You're really going to stay with us?” She held the child in her arms closer to her as he began to wiggle about a bit, before settling back against her body in slumber. Judar watched the child for a moment before he nodded, his ruby eyes moving back to lock with hers. “Yeah... I figured one night couldn't hurt. Besides... it's not like I don't want to.”

Kenmei stood close to Judar as they moved through the sky, the two staying silent as to try to not draw attention to themselves. The palace was mostly dark and silent, with only certain areas and walk ways lit up by lanterns. But, as Judar started to move the carpet towards the lower status living quarters, Kenmei put a hand to his chest gently, shaking her head. “Not that way.”

Judar raised an eyebrow at her, growing confused. “What do you mean?” Kenmei grew a bit flustered at the look he was giving her, like he didn't believe her. “We don't live there anymore. I've made a living for myself, you know.” She kept her voice down as she spoke, but she pointed to where the higher class of the palace lived. “We live there now. Though it's not the best in the area... We've moved up.”

The Magi stared in the direction that she was pointing for a bit before he gave a quiet chuckle, patting Kenmei on the back gently. “Good job, freckles. I'm proud of you.” Kenmei felt her face flush as she shifted her standing position a bit from embarrassment, moving her arm back to hold onto her child. “T-thank you, Judar..” She wasn't embarrassed by the praise that he gave her, or the pat on the back. It was the nickname he used, something that she hadn't been called since he had vanished.

Judar noticed her embarrassment, leaning over just a bit to try to look at her face as she attempted to look away from him. “What are you all embarrassed about?” Kenmei shook her head, feeling stupid for getting butterflies over him calling her 'freckles'. “I-it's nothing... It's just been so long since you called me anything like that... I've missed it a lot.” She turned her head to looked back at him, though her embarrassment flashed into irritation as he began to chuckle at her again. “D-don't laugh at me!!”

 

The two soon landed silently in an open hallway of the palace, where it was dark and they could not be seen. Kenmei stepped off the carpet, as did Judar, though he kept his magic going to carry her items easier by keeping them on the carpet. Kenmei looked up at him, silently pointing down the hall before she started to walk, the slight 'tap tap' her shoes the only sound around them. Judar followed her, looking around nervously. He knew that being seen tonight would ruin things for him, and he could not let that happen.

Though, they did not have to go far, as Kenmei soon stopped at a door only a few feet from where they had landed. She took a quick glance down the hall before she slid the door open, moving to the side and looking to Judar once she did. Judar took the quiet hint and quickly moved inside himself, bringing the floating carpet and belongings with him. Once he was safely inside and she was sure no one was peeking on them, she walked inside and slid the door shut behind her, giving a relieved sigh.

“See.” She spoke as she turned back around to face him, smiling. “No one saw you. And no one ever comes to my room or anything unless I ask, so you should be fine.” Her smile faded a bit as she saw him standing silently in the middle of the room, his head turning a bit as he looked around. She started to walk over to him, carefully stepping over her belongings that had landed on the floor with the flying carpet.

“Judar...? Are you okay?” She spoke softly as she stopped next to him, adjusting the way she was holding Junjie. Judar's eyes continued to scan across the room, though he reached his hand up to rub the back of his head. “It's a little weird... I guess at one point, I thought I would never see any of this again. Never be in this palace, let alone in a room with you again.” His eyes moved to Kenmei as he mentioned her, his gaze instantly setting off butterflies in her stomach.

“O-oh..” She spoke with shaking words, becoming embarrassed from the way he was looking at her, his expression softer than she had seen this whole time. “It's not too much for you, is it?” Judar couldn't help but to chuckle at her worry, though he wasn't surprised that she would ask him something like that. “You're always worried about stupid stuff like that. I'm fine. Why don't you put Junjie away so we can talk more.” He gave a wave of his hand, turning to walk and explore the room more.

Kenmei felt her cheeks grow warm at his suggestion and she nodded, glancing around a bit before she timidly headed towards a different door in the room. “Okay. I'll be right back.” She shut the door behind her once she walked inside, feeling her heart starting to pound. Her mind was already racing with thousands of thoughts and she was starting to become flustered.

What if he started to come onto her when she came back out? Would she really be able to handle that? What was it he wanted to talk about? Did he want to talk about him leaving again? Did he want to talk about their relationship?

Did he not want to be with her anymore?

All of these thoughts ran through her mind as she gently lied Junjie into his bed, watching him wiggle into a comfortable position before he fell back into his deep sleep. She stroked his hair gently before turning and making her way back to the door that led back out into her bedroom. She stood at the door for a moment, taking in a few deep breaths before she slid it open, walking back out into the main bedroom.

She glanced around the room as she slid the door back shut behind her, noticing Judar was standing at one of the open windows, where the moonlight was the only source of light filling the room. He took a quick glance at her before looking back outside.

“You shouldn't leave your windows open. Could get bugs in here.” His voice was mellow, the quiet and relaxing atmosphere seeming to relax him quite a bit. Kenmei smiled, walking over to a dresser by the bed to light a couple of candles. As she lit them, the room grew brighter and she could see better. “We've been living here for a while, now... I haven't had any bug issues yet.”

After lighting a few candles to lighten up the room, she turned around, noticing Judar was leaning out of the window a bit, looking towards a different part of the palace. Kenmei immediately felt her heart drop, knowing exactly what was on his mind. It was the only thing that had been on his mind for months before he went away. Nothing else mattered to him then, and she knew that hadn't changed now.

She gave a quiet, defeated sigh, starting to make her way over to the other side of her room, where a divider cut off the area where she kept her clothing. “He's not there, Judar.” She spoke in a dull voice, vanishing behind the divider before Judar could lean back inside the room to look at her. He frowned, noticing the change in her voice and the vibe she was giving off.

“What? What are you talking about.” He took a step away from the window, not really sure why he asked that. He knew what she was talking about, he just hadn't wanted her to notice him thinking about it. His gaze was pulled from the window to the divider across the room as a candle was lit behind it, and he could see some of her shadow against the white paper of the divider. He couldn't move his eyes away from it, feeling his chest tighten a bit as he noticed her beginning to change clothes.

Kenmei shook her head a bit as she began to remove her clothing, not sure she even wanted to bring it up. “Hakuryuu. He vanished a while ago. He left-”

“He left everything to the old hag. I know that already.” Judar cut her off, a bit irritated at her attitude about the subject. His frown returned as he watched her pause her movements in silence, knowing he had probably just upset her more than she already had been. Why was she so sensitive about that? She already knew that he wanted to find Hakuryuu from what he had told her before, so why was she acting so... weird?

Though on the other side of the divider, Kenmei was doing her best to keep herself from getting upset. She could already feel her chest starting to tighten and her eyes tear up a bit at the thought that Judar was only here to find Hakuryuu, like he had no thought of her at all. She knew that couldn't be true, though. The way he was acting this whole time, how much he seemed to have missed being with her. He couldn't be faking all of that, could he?

She went back to removing her clothing, having worn quite a few layers today as it was a bit chilly, even during the day time. “Just forget about it... You're here with me, now...” She did her best to keep her emotions out of her voice, but Judar could see through it easily. He walked a bit closer to the divider, still watching her shadow. “I did come here to find you.. It wasn't just a fluke, you know.”

Though he knew it was wrong, he had to lie to her. If he wanted this to work out, he couldn't let her know he hadn't wanted to meet up wit her yet. He couldn't let that happen.

And he was willing to say anything to get her to believe him.

Kenmei felt herself immediately choke up at his words, bringing a hand up to wipe her eyes before any tears were able to escape. “I know...” Once she was completely stripped of her clothing, she pulled her hair across her shoulder, tugging the tie loose at the end and letting her hair fall free. Though as she ran her fingers through it, she looked down at herself, starting to become embarrassed.

She was no longer as skinny and fit as she had been before, when she knew he found her to be attractive. She had gained some weight, in specific places where he particularly like to pick on her and tease. She knew he would say something about how she had let herself go, and she was beginning to feel ashamed and embarrassed to let him see her. So, she grabbed a large, loose fitting robe that would hide her body, quickly pulling it on and tying it into place.

Just as she was tying it, there was a small tap on the other side of the divider, against the paper. Judar had moved to stand right up against it, still watching her shadow as she changed. Kenmei gave a small jump at the sudden tap, turning around to look at the divider, able to see his shadow as well. “W-what?”

Judar gave a small grumble, crossing his arms. “Why are you taking so long to change? You just stood there naked for like five minutes. I'm getting lonely out here.” He gave a small smirk, and Kenmei was able to hear it in his voice as he spoke. “Don't you want to come out and cuddle with me?”

“You need to stop that!” Kenmei quickly moved away from the divider, blowing out the candle she had lit. Judar began to laugh, moving over to the edge of the divider so he could peek around it. Though, the instant his face peeked around the edge, he only got a quick glimpse of her before Kenmei brought her hand up and covered his face. “Don't try to peek at me like that!”

She gently pushed him back a bit as she came all the way out from behind the divider, keeping her hand on his face to block his view. Judar gave an irritated grunt, grabbing her hand and pulling it away from his face. “What are you doing that for, why don't you want me to look at you?” Kenmei felt her face begin to burn when he finally was able to look down at her, using her free hand to pull her hair over her shoulders a bit, feeling like it would hide her better.

“I-It's not that, Judar... I'm just embarrassed, alright?” She snatched her hand back from him, timidly hugging herself as she tried to avoid looking at him. Judar rasied an eyebrow, leaning over a bit to try to catch her eyes. “What are you so embarrassed about? It's not like I haven't seen you in a robe before.”

Kenmei shook her head, still trying to not to look at him. “It's been two years! No one has seen me like this since then!” Judar stood up straight, giving a sigh as he rubbed his face. “Mei... honestly. It's me. We've been in more embarrassing situations than you standing in front of me in a robe, don't you think?” He reached over and gently took her hair, moving it back behind her shoulders. “Man... your hair has gotten crazy long.”

“D-do you like it?” Kenmei finally looked up at him, allowing him to move her hair without any protest. Judar gave a small chuckle at her question, finding it so innocent. “It suits you, yeah.” Once he got all of her hair out of the way, he put his hands on her shoulders gently. “You don't have to hide from me. Come on, relax your arms.”

He rubbed her arms a bit, noticing her starting to become a bit flustered at the situation. Still, Kenmei gave a small sigh and removed her arms, letting her fall to her side, though she felt awkward with them just sitting there like that. It was silent for a moment, before she finally looked back up at Judar, noticing how quiet he was being while still holding onto her shoulders. “Judar?”

Judar blinked a few times, his eyes having been stuck on her body before moving back up to her face when she called to him. “Sorry. Uh.. You know.” He released her arms, standing up straight as he pointed down at her body. “You.. Something seems different.” Kenmei looked up at him with a confused expression, noticing his face was a bit pink as he spoke. “Huh?”

“Uuhmm...” Judar scratched his cheek, still looking at her. “I mean, this robe isn't exactly flattering. But!” He quickly caught himself, noticing a glare starting to cross her features at that comment. “But! It- You know, it's just hiding what I think is going on here.” He gestured to her body again, only causing Kenmei to put her hands onto her hips, raising an eyebrow at him. Though she was really embarrassed, she didn't like how he was dodging his point. “Will you just spill it?”

He stood there still for a moment before he reached out with both hands, squishing her breasts together a bit and bouncing them a little. “Your tits are way bigger.” Kenmei felt her face instantly start to burn as if it were on fire, and she smacked his hands away, turning her body to hid it from him. “J-Judar!! Don't do that!”

Judar snickered, scurrying around so that she was facing him again. “Aw come on, let me see them! How'd they get so big!” He tried to reach out again, but Kenmei only smacked his hands away once more. “I'm still breastfeeding Junjie! It's healthiest for him because he has such a weak immune system!” Judar gave a pout as she smacked his hands away again. “That makes them this much bigger! Damn, that's crazy.”

He finally stopped his attempts to grope her, standing up straight, causing Kenmei to relax herself as well. Giving a smile, he reached over and ran his fingers through her hair gently. “I see why you don't want me to look at you. You think you've gotten fat, huh?” Kenmei felt her stomach clench a bit, shifting in her spot as she pulled the rob tighter around her. “Well...”

Judar shook his head, waving his hand in the air a bit. “You're not fat! You're barely bigger than what you were when I left. Actually...” He grabbed her hand, gently making her do a turn for him. “I know you worked hard to look the way you did before. But I'm into this.” He moved one hand to rest on her hip, while he kept hold of the other, pulling her a bit closer to him.

Kenmei felt her heart begin to race as he pulled her closer, the feeling of their bodies barely touching already making her go crazy. “You can't say that when you've only seen me like this... I'm not skinny and fit anymore, Judar...” She hung her head a bit, embarrassed. “You used to tease me all the time when we first met, when I looked more like this.... You must feel the same way.”

Judar gave a sigh, having already known she was going to bring that up. “Mei... I just spent two years alone. Do you really think I care about what you look like?” He pulled her a bit closer, his hand moving to rest on her back. “Seriously. Your curves have always been amazing, and now they're even better.” His hand slid down, giving her backside a few light pats.

Feeling her stomach flutter violently, she hid her face in his chest. “Why do you like to do that to me?” Judar chuckled, moving both arms to rest around her. “What? Touch your butt?” Kenmei shook her head, moving to wrap her arms around him tightly. “No, why do you like to embarrass me so much.” The Magi blinked, looking down at her. “Huh... I haven't really thought of it before. It's fun, I guess.”

“Just because it's fun? I don't believe that.” She tilted her head to look back up at him, feeling her heart skip a beat at how close her face ended up next to his. Judar gave a small smirk, noticing her reaction. “I like your reactions. Your facial expressions. Like the one you're making right now. Sometimes you just look like your about to pass out.”

Kenmei could only stare up at him, the expression on his face and the feeling of their bodies pressed together already making her head spin. Though, no matter how much she was wanting him, she could feel something tugging at the back of her head. It was a strong, nagging feeling and was the only thing that was keeping her anchored down to reality. She could feel herself starting to choke up at the thought of it, and she couldn't continue like this until she spoke with him.

“Judar...” She spoke timidly, shaking her head a bit as she watched his smirk fade at the sound of her voice. “I can't do this. How could I possibly go through with any of this knowing that you're going to leave me again?” She was unable to control the tremble in her voice, her grip loosening on him a bit as she tried to distance herself, but found it impossible to move any further. “How could you do that to me?”

Judar frown at the accusation, moving his hands to rest firmly on her hips. But still, he found himself at a loss for words. What could he really say to her? This exact reason was why he hadn't wanted to meet up with her until he was ready to return to the palace for good. Because he was going to leave her again, no matter how much she screamed, begged or cried for him to stay. Though, the fact that she was trying to guilt him and make him the bad guy was starting to piss him off.

“Are you serious? You're trying to pull that bull shit on me? When you're the first person I even bothered to look for?” He crossed his arms, forcing a gap between them and causing Kenmei to take a step back. “I already knew Hakuryuu wasn't here. He wasn't what I came over here for. What difference does it make that I'm going to leave again? You don't think I'll come back to you?”

Kenmei moved her hands up to tug at her hair, running her fingers through it as a nervous habit. Her eyes darted around the room, looking at everything, anything but him as she tried to control her emotions. “I'm just so scared, Judar.... I've been alone for all this time, and now you're suddenly back. And I want everything to be how it was before... But how can I do that?” She finally looked back up at him, her body trembling from anxiety. “How can everything be normal again?”

There was silence between the two of them as Judar stared down at her, watching her tremble and await his answer. Finally, the Magi sighed, reaching his hands out and placing both on either side of her neck gently, one of his thumbs stroking her cheek softly and causing Kenmei's features to soften. “Mei... What is it you want right now? I don't mean in an hour, tomorrow or weeks from now.” He moved a bit closer to her as Kenmei placed her hands on his gently. “I mean right now, in this moment.”

Kenmei could feel her body beginning to grow hot again at his question, from her face all the way down to her toes. She knew exactly what she wanted, what she had been craving for the whole night. And though she could still feel that nagging feeling at the back of her head, she ignored it, moving herself closer to him until their bodies touched again.

“I... I just...” She fought to get the words out, her head becoming foggy and her chest growing tighter as Judar moved one of his hands to rest behind her head, cupping her neck and causing her head to bend back slightly. He pulled her body closer, leaning in a bit more to where their lips brushed lightly. Judar wanted nothing more than to take her, to hear her moan his name and watch her body tremble beneath him. But still, he waited for her answer, unable to help a slight smirk cross his lips. “You what?” Kenmei moved her hands to rest onto his chest, gripping the white cloth lightly, pulling whatever strength she could forward to be able to speak.

“I just want you to kiss me.”


	5. Touch Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #### Warning: Explicit Chapter

Judar instantly pulled her closer, their lips clashing as the kiss became instantly hot and passionate. He gripped the back of her neck tighter, forcing her to cripple against him as his tongue invaded her mouth. Kenmei allowed him to do as he pleased, wrapping her arms around his neck and pushing herself up onto the balls of her feet to reach him better.

A dry gasp escaped her throat and passed through the kiss as Judar ran his hand into her hair, gripping it firmly. The feeling of him pulling on her hair caused her legs to become weak and she fell back to stand normally, though she pulled him down with her, not wanting to lose his lips. Judar smirked against the kiss, opening his eyes a bit to watch her face, as her expressions only brought him more excitement.

Kenmei could feel his eyes on her, becoming flustered and light headed as her lungs began to beg for air. But, as Kenmei attempted to pull away, Judar refused to let her, only pulling her closer to him as he moved his free hand down her body, stopping only when he was able to get a hand full of her backside. Gasping out of embarrassment at him grabbing her, she turned her head a bit to look back behind his hand, pulling herself away from the kiss.

Judar, however, did not allow her much time to recover her breath, instantly moving his lips to her neck to nip and suckle at her delicate skin, pulling her attention back towards him and not what he was doing with his hands. His other hand had released her hair and had moved down to join his other, taking great delight in squeezing his lovers backside while listening to her gasp and moan in his ear.

Kenmei could only rest against him, her hands pressed against his chest as she let him take control of her. Every kiss, suckle and bite he delivered to her neck and shoulder sent waves of pleasure cascading through her body, and she could feel herself throbbing and begging for his touch. Though, as she felt her robe beginning to be pulled up from the back, she quickly turned her head to look back once more, noticing that he was pulling it up and over to reveal her backside.

In a panic, her initial apprehension for him to see her body came through the mind numbing pleasure, and she reached behind to pull it back down. “J-Judar, wait-” She was interrupted by a loud gasp as Judar bit down hard onto the most sensitive part of her neck, knowing exactly where it was. Kenmei trembled and shook against him as he pulled away, giving her an annoyed glare.

“Why'd you stop me?” He seemed almost to be pouting as he looked down at her, moving his hands around to rest on her hips instead. Kenmei looked up at him, breathing heavily as she tried to calm herself. “I... I dont know, you were pulling up my robe...” Judar gave an annoyed grunt, grabbing her by the shoulders and pushing her back away from him a little.

“No shit I was pulling up your robe! You are going to let me see you.” He grabbed the sash that tied the robe together and pulled it, causing it to fall loose around her body. Kenmei gasped and instantly tried to pull it back tight around her, but Judar snatched her by the wrists and pulled her arms away from herself. “Woman, why do you keep trying to do that!”

Kenmei shook her head, though didn't try to pull her arms back. “I-I don't know!” Judar sighed, calming down a bit as he released her wrists, putting his hands on his hips. “Fine. You take it off yourself.” He smirked down at her as she looked up at him, shocked and embarrassed. Swallowing the lump in her throat, Kenmei's eyes traveled down out of shyness, though they instantly landed on the obvious bulge pushing through Judar's pants. The sight of this caused her heartbeat to increase and she could feel the throbbing coming from her own body, knowing he must have been feeling what she was.

So, she timidly gripped the edge of her robe and pulled it away from her body, letting it fall to the ground. She resisted the urge to cover herself with her hands and instead stood there, bare before him for the first time in what felt like forever to her. In truth, she couldn't believe that they were doing this, that she was in such need of his touch that she was willing to let him do anything to her. Even now, as he smirked down at her, she could feel her knees grow weak.

Judar made his way back over, surprising Kenmei as he grabbed her by the hand and gently spun her around, before pulling her to him, her back pressing against him. He leaned in, beginning to nibble at her neck again, while reaching around to grip her breasts with both hands. Kenmei gasped at the feeling, the fact that she was still lactating making her breasts extremely sensitive. Though, his movements had calmed down, and Kenmei knew he was about to do nothing but tease her.

“W-why did you slow down?” She spoke softly, leaning her head back against him as she nibbled on her bottom lip. She pressed her body tighter back against him, able to feel his member pressing back against her body. He gave a soft chuckle, his hot breath sending shivers across her skin. “Because I want to play with you a little bit...”

He pinched and rolled her nipples between his fingers, causing Kenmei's body to tense up as she gasped out in pleasure, one of her hands reaching up to tangle into his hair. “T-That's too much, Judar-” She gasped out again as he only squeezed them harder, causing her to pull on his hair a bit as she wiggled against him, the feeling too much for her. “D-don't, please, they might l-leak.” The thought of that happening cause her embarrassment to grow, reaching up with a free hand to try to grab one of his.

Though, Judar couldn't help but to laugh at this, his smirk growing as he watched her struggle against him. “That's sick.” He began to massage her boobs lightly instead, licking his lips a bit as he watched them move within his hands. “I like them bigger like this... It's so fucking sexy.” Kenmei turned her head away from his a bit, not really sure how to respond to the way he was talking. “D-don't say those things...”

“Come on, I know you like it when I do.” Judar turned her a bit and forced her to lean up against the wall they were next to, causing her to gasp at the cold wood against her skin. When she felt him move away from her, she felt as if her body moved on it's own as she pushed her backside out towards him, keeping her upper body leaned up against the wall. “I-I don't... It's so indecent...” Judar laughed, putting both hands onto her backside, though one landed with a bit more force, causing her to jerk lightly. “Indecent? You should see yourself, sticking your ass out at me like that. Your body is just begging to be fucked.”

He gripped her hips, pulling her body out a bit more before he moved his hands back into place, spreading her open to reveal all of her sensitive and private parts. His smirk grew as he watched her body twitch in anticipation of his touch, her juices flowing from her so freely that it dripped from her, landing onto the floor. A pressure began to rise up into his chest as he looked at her, the need and wanting to make love to her becoming almost too much for him to control anymore.

But still, he did not make that move. He wanted to hear her beg for him, to see that pleading expression that always sent him into a crazed frenzy. He had missed it, and that's what he wanted most from her. He didn't want her to take control, or to be sexy at all for him. All he wanted was for her to beg, to push her to her limits until she couldn't stand it anymore.

Kenmei shook her head at his comment, hiding her face from him against the wall as she could feel him looking her over. Her legs trembled, hardly able to keep her propped up in the position he wanted her. “P-please, Judar-” She was once again interrupted by a moan escaping her lips, not noticing that he had knelt down behind her. He was running his thumb along her hot, swollen and sensitive fleshy button, rolling it about under his fingers.

Her body shook and trembled from the action, the pleasure from his movements sending spikes and waves of pleasure through her body. Judar's smirk grew, leaning to the side a bit to try and see her face. “Hey, you need to be quiet.” He pinched and rolled her clit about between his fingers a bit, only causing her to gasp out and moan again, though it was obvious she tried to control it. “I-I can't!”

Judar snickered, moving himself closer to her. “You will. Even one peep, and I'll leave.” Kenmei leaned up a bit to try to look back at him, but couldn't see him well since he was kneeling down behind her. “T-That's so cruel!” Judar gripped onto her hips tightly, preventing her from moving. “You can't make even a single noise until you cum. Do you understand?”

Kenmei couldn't even ask what he meant before she felt intense pleasure shoot through her body, as Judar had leaned in, running his tongue along her before focusing directly on her clit. Kenmei held her breath as she dug her nails into the wall she was leaning on, her body twitching and jerking. The attention he was giving her was even more intense than he had been doing with his fingers, as she could feel him lick, suckle and nip at her swollen, sensitive skin.

Though, as she struggled to keep herself quiet, she could feel a pressure building up in her body, something that she was so familiar with, but hadn't felt in so long. Her body moved in a rhythmic motion against Judars movements as she could feel her orgasm coming on quickly. Judar noticed the change and gripped her hips tighter, keeping her firm in place as he increased the pleasure for her, rolling his tongue about quicker.

Kenmei brought a hand up to cover her mouth as she grew closer and closer to her orgasm, her lungs and stomach burning from holding back her noises. She hated it when he made up rules like that, but the control and domination turned her on more than anything else. But still, she was able to not make even a single squeak all the way up to her orgasm, which shook her body violently and caused her knees to give out, her body crippling onto the floor as she knelt down onto her knees. She held herself up against the wall, however, keeping herself exposed to him like she knew he wanted.

Judar snickered, using the back of his hand to wipe his mouth clean. “Damn. I didn't think you'd be able to do it.” His smirk returned as he looked her over, completely crippled on the floor in front of him. He reached over and gave her backside a good smack, causing her body to quiver and a moan to finally spill from her lips. “Way too fucking hot.” He pushed her hips back up right, watching as her juices continued to flow from her, creating a small puddle on the floor. “It's crazy how much you jizz everywhere.”

Kenmei wiggled herself away from him, turning herself around to sit down, facing him. “S-stop saying those things.” She began to crawl towards him, putting her hand on his chest and pushing him to sit down. Judar raised an eyebrow at her, though his smirk grew as she looked up at him, her expression completely hazed over by lust, with the pleading look in her eyes.

That was it, the expression that he had been craving for. Judar reached his hand around and placed it on the back of her head before he gripped her hair, causing her head to bend back slightly and a pleasured gasp to escape her throat. She quivered as he leaned in closer, letting their lips brush as he spoke.

“Now I want you to tell me again. What is it that you want?”


	6. Love Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ####  Warning: Explicit Chapter

Kenmei tried to catch his lips as he spoke, though Judar kept a tight grip on her hair, making her unable to move forward. Her body was on fire, the need for his touch starting to become to great for her to handle. Though, she found herself unable to speak, her mind completely clouded over and her thoughts muddled.

All she wanted was him, for him to touch her, caress her, pleasure her and love her. That's all she wanted at this moment, and yet she couldn't seem to be able to say any of these things. Instead of words, her hands began to move as if they were being controlled by some other being, gripping onto Judar's swollen member, rubbing and teasing him through his pants. Kenmei couldn't help but to smirk as she saw Judar's expression instantly shift, feeling his grip loosen on her hair and his eyes shift downward.

Kenmei moved herself a bit closer, continuing to move her hands as she ran her thumb around his tip over the soft fabric of his pants, knowing he liked the feeling. Her smirk grew a bit as she kept her face close to his, watching him as he released her hair and leaned back on his arms. She could tell he was growing lost in the pleasure, even only at the beginning of her teasing, as his breathing increased and his face began to flush red.

But, Judar couldn't help himself. It had been over two years since she had touched him or felt any sexual pleasure at all. Though he wanted to stay dominate over her as he always had been, the feeling of her stroking him like this, of the soft fabric against his member sent him into complete bliss. So much tension and longing had been built up in him that he was starting to feel like he couldn't hold it in, feeling a pressure starting to build up at the base of his hips.

“Mei.. Wait-” He choked out, barely able to speak through the tightness in his chest as he reached up and gripped Kenmei's arm tightly. But, Kenmei did not stop, instead she pulled his pants out of the way and leaned her body down, instantly taking him into her mouth. The hot feeling of her mouth forced a gasp from his throat as Judar instantly gripped her head. He hadn't expected her to do that, when she had been acting so submissive. She had taken control, and though he wanted to have domination over her, he couldn't seem to make himself move.

The pleasure was too much for him to force himself back into control, the feeling of her tongue twisting around him and his tip pressing back against the back of her throat clouded his mind. He gripped her hair tightly, feeling her moan and watching her body wiggle as she continued to work his member in her mouth. Watching her and the feeling of his orgasm building caused something in him to snap, releasing a huge frustration that had been clouded over by pleasure.

He gripped her hair firmly, forcing her to take him in even deeper and move faster. A large smirk crossed his face as he felt her dig her nails into his leg, knowing it was almost too much for her. “Who said you can suck my dick, huh? You stupid girl-” A moan forced it's way though and interrupted him as he leaned his head back a bit, able to feel it coming. “You're so eager, you'd better swallow all of it.”

Within moments, Judar could no longer contain himself, forcing her head down onto him as he released. Kenmei kept herself in place as he wanted, feeling his hot fluids rush down her throat, swallowing the best she could. Her lungs were burning and her jaw was sore, but the feeling of his member throbbing against her mouth and the sounds of his groans only worsened her need for him to make love to her.

Judar released her hair, allowing Kenemi to come up. She coughed for a moment, moving herself to sit down as she covered her mouth. Judar leaned back on his arms, looking at her as he tried to calm his heavy breathing. “Fuck... I didn't think you were going to do that.” Kenmei looked up at him, wiping her mouth off a bit with her fingers. “You're treating me so mean... How could I not try to catch you off guard?”

“Whatever!” The boy huffed as he stood, snatching her by the arm and forcing her to stand up. Kenmei felt her heartbeat begin to go even faster than it was, noticing he was already hard again as she was forced to her feet. Though, she wasn't one to judge. She could feel her liquids literally almost pouring out of her, her body so hot and every inch of her aching for him to continue. “Don't you tell me 'whatever'. You obviously liked it when I took control.”

Kenmei gave a surprised yelp as she was snatched off her feet and tossed onto the bed, bouncing a bit from the force. “Hey, be careful!” She rolled over onto her stomach, propping her lower body up into position while she kept her upper half down onto the bed, hugging onto a pillow. She peeked over her shoulder, watching him as he stripped off his clothing faster than she had ever seen. “Come on, you're too slow!” He glared at her as he tossed his last article of clothing away, making his way onto the bed behind her. “You had better shut up.” He brought his hand down hard onto her backside, instantly breaking her cocky attitude as she moaned and trembled.

Judar smirked as he watched her, gripping her hips with one hand as he used the other to run the tip of his member along her soaked and trembling cunt. The feeling of how hot it was, even just at this point almost sent him over the edge again, but he knew he had to control himself. He wanted her to squirm and to beg for him to fuck her. He needed to hear it from her, his excitement already growing just from the thought of it.

“I should really punish you for that. For thinking you could take control like that.” He slapped her ass again as he continued to run his member against her clit, his smirk growing as her body twitched and she began to squirm. Her hips shifted further towards him, as if she were trying to get him to slip inisde. “J-Judar... Please don't do that to me. I need it.” Judar gripped her hair, forcing her head up and out of the pillow. “You need what?”

Kenmei looked back at him, the begging expression on her face made Judar almost completely lose his mind. He gripped her hair tighter, beginning to press his tip against her throbbing hole as she struggled to speak. He wasn't going to move another inch until she spoke, not matter how badly his body burned to go inside of her. “Say it!”

“I want you to fuck me!”

Not even a second passed after she spoke before Judar thrust himself inside of her, pushing himself inside until the base of his hips met hers. He dug his fingers into her hips, unable to help a pleasured groan escape his lips. It felt as if she were sucking him in, gripping onto him so tightly he was sure he wouldn't be able to move at all. Even still, he began to pump his hips, starting out at a slow but rough pace, loving to see her body bounce.

Fearful she may be too loud, Kenmei kept her head shoved into the pillow she was gripping, moaning into the fabric freely. It was like pure ecstasy, every movement he made sending her mind into a numbing bliss. As he began to pick up his pace, she started to feel as if her body were on fire, able to feel every inch of his cock inside of her. Still, she needed more to quench her longing, begging for him to ravage her more. 

Judar was more than willing to oblige, reaching down to grip her hair and pull, forcing her upper body off the bed as he used this new leverage to increase the roughness of his thrusts. Now supporting herself with trembling arms, Kenmei could already feel her orgasm quickly approaching, the feeling of her hair being pulled only spiking the pleasure. As her breathing became staggered and her hips pushed up to allow him in deeper, Judar could tell that she was getting close. 

He spoke through his own ragged breaths, gripping her hip tighter with his other hand. “You’re going to cum already, huh?” He pulled her hair harder and Kenmei gasped out loudly in reaction, barely able to hold herself up anymore. “Yes!” She forced herself to respond, feeling every inch of her body starting to tingle. With each stroke inside of her, it grew stronger, wanting nothing more than to feel that sweet release. 

Suddenly, it was gone, as Judar stopped and removed himself from her. As he released her hair, Kenmei could only sit there in shock for a moment, feeling it all beginning to fade. Frustrated, she looked back at him, noticing him panting as he stared down at her. “W-why did you stop?!” Without answering, Judar pushed her over, forcing her to turn over onto her back before moving to hover over her, his hips resting into hers.   
As he began to push himself back into her, he finally spoke, watching as she gasped and lied her head back. “I want to see you.” Once he picked back up his steady, rough rhythm, Kenmei wrapped her legs around his waist, already starting to feel the pressure beginning to build back up. Now that she could see and feel his body against hers, the pleasure felt as if it increased tenfold. She moved to rest her arms around him as he leaned in a bit further, propping himself up with his elbows. 

 

Though as the pleasure continued to increase for her, Kenmei couldn’t stop an overwhelming sense of emotion starting to build within her chest. Even though his thrusts were rough, everything about his actions seemed different from the beginning. He was touching her, kissing her, caressing her in a way that Kenmei had only ever felt once before, out of all the times they had ever made love. Judar had done this the last time before he vanished, as if he knew he may never get to touch her again. 

Now, as he kissed her passionately, his fingers once again tangled in her hair, Kenmei could feel her sadness beginning to well up with her orgasm. Even though they were such conflicting feelings, they only heightened the intensity of each other as they clashed. Tears began to stream down her face as she gripped onto him tightly with her legs and arms, her body teetering on the edge of release. As Judar increased the pleasure, the kiss was forced to end, feeling himself growing closer to his own orgasm as she squeezed him tightly. 

As he looked down at her, he felt a bit shocked at her tears, but he didn’t get a chance to say anything as she spoke first. The tears continued to stream down her face as she forced herself to speak through her moans and ragged gasps, moving one of her hands to rest against his cheek. “You have to… come back to me.” Instead of responding, Judar pulled her back into another kiss, feeling her grip onto him tighter. The only response he could think of was to push them further, digging himself deeper into her as he could feel her beginning to tense. 

Kenmei moaned and gasped through the kiss, the feeling of him refusing to let her go as his cock sinking so deep into her finally pushing her over the edge. Her body trembled and shook violently against him, feeling her body flush with heat as she could feel him release inside her. The kiss finally ended as Judar groaned from the pleasure of his release, tilting his head down to rest into the nape of her neck. 

Wrapping her arms around him tighter as he rested his trembling body into hers, Kenmei turned her head to hide her face into his hair, panting as she tried to calm herself. But, as the orgasm faded away, the emotions became overwhelming, and she began to sob. Judar did not move as he listened to her behind his own heavy breathing, feeling as if a weight had been tied around his heart. “Mei…” He spoke softly, turning his lips towards her ear. 

Struggling to control her rampaging emotions, Kenmei kept her grip on him tight, refusing to let him leave her. “I just can’t-“ Her own hiccups interrupted her. “- I just can’t do this without you. Please- please tell me you’ll come back!” Having to use some force to pry himself away from her shoulder, he adjusted his position to be able to look down at her again.

Seeing her crying like this made him remember why he had never wanted to come here in the first place. He knew that it would have caused this, such intense sadness that he knew he wasn’t going to be able to calm. It was harder for him to see her like this than he could ever have imagined, but there was nothing he could do. He had to leave. 

“Mei…” He spoke again, voice still soft. He reached up to gently wipe away some tears, only for them to be immediately replaced. “Don’t cry so much. I don’t want to spend this night with your crying.” Kenmei shut her eyes tightly as she tried to calm herself, taking in deep breaths. She took the risk of releasing him to reach up and wipe her face, still hiccupping as her body gasped for breath. “I-I’m sorry…” 

Once she calmed, Judar leaned in and kissed her again sweetly, bringing his body in closer to hers. As he did, he could feel his manhood beginning to pulse back against her walls again as she squeezed him. A small chuckle escaped his throat as he looked down at her, watching her face flush as she felt him. “Nothing to be sorry about. Just promise me you won’t cry anymore.” He leaned his forehead on hers, watching her face contort with pleasure as he slowly began to move himself within her. 

Kenmei looked up at him as their bodies rocked with his gentle movements, wrapping her arms back around him. “I-I promise…” Judar leaned down a bit to let their lips brush softly as he spoke, feeling her nails in his back. “Then I promise that I will come back to you…” Kenmei could feel her eyes well up with tears from his words, but she held them back, leaning her head up a bit to catch his lips. 

She refused to let another moment of this night slip by in sadness, feeling her body swell with pleasure and happiness as he made love to her gently. Though she knew he would never say it, she could feel love radiating from him. All she had ever wanted was to feel as if he truly did love her, and in this moment, that feeling was overpowering.


End file.
